Stuck on Repeat

Scroll. Scroll. Like. Scroll. Comment. Like. Scroll. Smiley face. Heart. Scroll.

As I write this I can feel the activation of the muscle memory in my thumbs.

“...there’s no way of predicting when someone out there will reward you with their approval, so you’ll impulsively keep checking in, hoping to see those likes stack up.”

The Science Of Living by Dr. Stuart Farrimond

Ooh that’s a bit close to the bone. I’m not very active on social media these days but that quote nails it for me. I can’t predict whether someone out there will reward me with their approval. So I’ll keep checking and checking because:

“Social Media notifications cash in on the chemical currency of pleasure: dopamine”

The Science Of Living by Dr. Stuart Farrimond

I won’t go into a deep dive about my attitude towards social media but at the risk of sounding very 2009, it’s complicated.

“I can't deny the fact you like me. Right now, you like me!”

You may recognise the quote above from Sally Field’s 1985 Academy Award acceptance speech. And yes, I had to double check as I also thought what she’d said was “You like me. You really like me!”. 

Her expression of unabashed happiness from being approved of by her peers takes a lot of courage (or obliviousness!). Sure there may also be a little tinge of desperation but let’s be honest, we’ve all been there! It feels good to be liked, approved of and celebrated, we’re relational beings. 

Back when Ms Field gave her infamous (misquoted) speech, the immediate reaction was limited to those watching at the ceremony and the viewers watching at home. Feedback didn’t arrive until it was mediated through the next morning’s newspapers and TV news broadcasts.

Nowadays however public displays of vulnerability - whether they are to an audience of millions or an audience of one - happen via our phones and the feedback (or lack of) is immediate... 

👍 ❤️ 😀 🥰 🤯 😂 🙏

And I can’t handle it!

Higher tolerance? Moved by Your Message? Or Just Having Fun?

Maybe it takes practice, until you can hammer out posts and tweets with little concern for feedback. Like a muscle that gets worked so that eventually we create new tolerance levels of simply not giving a damn what people think.

Or maybe it’s the wholehearted conviction that what you have to share will be of benefit to somebody else. That there’ll be a relatable point that makes your reader feel less isolated, to make them smile or even laugh. And that in order to get that across, you sidestep your ego and let the vulnerability be shared.  

Or maybe I’m just overthinking it and should relax and have fun with it!

I’m going to try to get my dopamine hits from leaning into these more positive approaches to social media. But while I’m increasing my tolerance can you please like? 😉