My #1 Yoga & Meditation Pet Peeve

I have had the following exchange countless times with people who don’t practice yoga or meditation:-

Me: “I teach yoga and have been practicing for a number of years”

Person: “You must be so calm”

Me, “No, I’m really f**king not!” 

Ok fine, I don’t say that out loud - my response is usually more along the lines of,

“Ha. Tell that to my kids!”

Self deprecation aside, I understand why someone might presume that one of the benefits of yoga is being calm, because it’s true. Yoga can make you calmer. It's the how and the why it makes me feel calmer which is interesting. 

More Than Meets The (Third) Eye

One of my teachers, Cyndi Lee, once said that when you see a picture of someone sitting cross legged, backs of their hands resting on their knees, index finger and thumbs touching with a serene expression on their face, it’s likely they are ruminating over an exchange with a colleague, or thinking about what’s for dinner, or whether they remembered to pay their credit card bill.

Yoga and meditation are embodied practices that help you witness all of the stuff that’s going on in your head. All that mind chatter. But to not identify with it - to observe the thoughts and then return to the present moment, often using the breath as a tool to do this.

These practices have helped me to experience the human condition and all that comes with it - joy, happiness, bliss, sadness, frustration, confusion and then some. They’ve allowed me to be in relationship with these powerful emotional forces and mental fluctuations.

What Does That Have To Do With Being Calm?

When I’m stressed, my mind is scattered and I’m unable to focus on one thing. I feel fragmented and can see I’m about to go down a well trodden path of anxiety, reactivity, rage and fear. But there are also times when I can remember to pause. To remember what it feels like to inhabit my body, and be available to my breathing. 

Calmness doesn’t come from a void of emotion or emptying yourself of thought. It comes from being familiar with challenging emotions and experiences and those moments of stillness and quiet. To be in balance. Calm comes when you find steadiness amidst the constant flux of thoughts and feelings.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and tell someone off about the mess on the floor.